Derek HainesDerek Haines, Author

As you can see from the list at the bottom of this page, which you are more than welcome to click, I have written a few books.

But you may be wondering what makes me tick as a writer. If you have read my extra brief bio on the home page of this website you will have gained a general and positive impression – I hope.

But for the more nitty-gritty details, the following list of questions I have been asked over the years might give you a little more insight into whatever it is that I do. And why I do it.

If you could travel in a Time Machine would you go back to the past or into the future?
I’d definitely go back in time to when I was about twenty and start this whole adult life thing all over again – with the sublime benefit of absolutely perfect 20:20 foresight.

In your wildest dreams, which author would you love to co-author a book with?
Harpo Marx. I really think he would not have a lot to say.

Something your readers would never guess about you?
I can’t type and I can’t spell. Minor handicaps for a writer, but nevertheless, quite annoying.

What’s your favorite word?
I rather like using the word rather, rather a lot. Such a useful word. It’s just a pity that I have to delete it rather often.

Do your friends or enemies ever find themselves in your books?
All characters appearing in my works are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental – mostly.

What drives you insane about the writing process?
That my fingers always type ‘teh’ when I want to write the. It’s teh frequency of it that drives me nuts.

What is your favourite part of the writing/publishing process?
When I type, ‘The End’, and manage to spell it correctly.

Who are your favourite authors?
Without a doubt, Douglas Adams is at the very top of my list. But after him, it’s a mixed bag of delights, with Jasper Fforde, James Clavell, Erich von Daniken, John Pilger and Enid Blyton along with many more of course.

What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
My students. While I have the small author label, most of my time is spent teaching ESL English to business professionals. It is the best job one could have, so I need no more motivation at all to start my days.

In spite of the answers above, I endeavour to write books that entertain and occasionally even inform. As I write in a few genres, I hope you might find your new read from the selection on the right. (Or following below for mobile users.)

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louis the life of a real spy by derek haines  one last love by derek haines  eyes-that-could-kill-by-derek-haines  god-has-gone-fishing-by-derek-haines  february-the-fifth-by-derek-haines  The adventures of Hal by Derek Haines  septimity by derek haines  march by derek haines  the-glothic-tales-trilogy  my-take-away-vampire  the-sons-of-cleito  the-few-by-derek-haines  dead-men-by-derek-haines  milo-moon-by-derek-haines  cut in three by derek haines  Pelf – Emily’s Men of Greed by Derek Haines  vandalism-of-words-by-derek-haines  how-to-publish-a-book

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